My SuNdAy TaLk

Mitch and I gave our Sunday talks on Eternal Marriage :) :) :)  Mine was more on choosing your eternal companion, which was fun, but kinda hard because there were lots of already married people in the audience I had to try not to bore.  So, here's a couple of highlights...

A few questions about marriage: these were answered by children between the ages of eight and ten.

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? 

"Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck."  -Ricky

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

"You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids."  -Derrick

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like that you like sports, and keep the chips and dip coming."  -Alan

How can one prepare for an eternal marriage?  I know when I was in YW, one thing our leaders would always say to us was, "Every time you volunteer to say the prayer, your future spouse gets a little hotter." So yeah, I volunteered a lot. And if you've ever seen Mitch at the beach with no shirt on, you'd know it paid off.

Russell M Nelson compares picking an eternal companion to “The Pattern of the Shopper.”  Wise shoppers study their options thoroughly before they make a selection. They focus primarily on the quality and durability of a desired product. They want the very best. In contrast, some shoppers look for bargains, and others may splurge, only to learn later—much to their dismay—that their choice did not endure well.  A couple in love can choose a marriage of the highest quality or a lesser type that will not endure..”

This kinda makes me laugh, because if you’ve ever been shopping with my husband FOR ANYTHING, you would know to bring a camping chair with you and a book because he takes FOR-EV-ER.  He’ll be holding two things and compare them, check the price, maybe look up their ratings, and really examine the quality of what he’s putting his money into.  And it’s extra funny because I thought he was such a slow mover before we started dating.  I would go home every night thinking, “Will you just hold my hand aready?!?”  Frustrating. 

Marriage and family gives us a chance to develop a Christ-like love that we otherwise may not be able to experience or practice.  You learn how to be truly selfless.  All of your choices are based on the happiness of others instead of your own.  The best marriage advice I was ever given was this.... "Stop sitting around waiting for your needs to be met, and get up and serve your spouse."  Sometimes I’ll have those grumpy days where I get frustrated because Mitch can’t read my mind and realize exactly what I need.... girls are so dumb.  But when you snap out of it, stop thinking about yourself and go do something nice for the other person, they’re happy and then you’re happy.  

President Thomas S. Monson has said: “To find real happiness, we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves. No one has learned the meaning of living until he has surrendered his ego to the service of his fellow man. Service to others is akin to duty—the fulfillment of which brings true joy.”    

So, there you go!  Best marriage advice ever!  That was something one of my professors taught me.  Church schools are fantastic because where else can you take electives like Preparing for Eternal Marriage or Dating and Courtship?

All the things I learned in that class blew my mind...

 

For some people, falling in love is a magical encounter, something that seems to happen at first sight, like that scene in the movie Bambi where Thumper becomes “twitterpated” at the first sight of a beautiful little bunny rabbit. He is instantly smitten by her lovely charm; his eyes become glazed over and dilate to twice their normal size in a hypnotic, enamored stare; and his little rabbit’s foot begins to thump the ground at 90 miles an hour.

In my class I learned that when you first meet the person you love, you’ve get all these physical chemicals going through you. Being in the presence of the person your attracted to triggers the release of dopamine.  And you’re associating this rush of adrenaline with the person you love, making you feel like you’re in a magical fairy tale.
    But after a while, that dopamine high begins to trickle back down to normal.  And we see our partners more realistically.  We realize they’re human beings and have flaws just like us and we discover that that adorable high pitched giggle she always does isn’t as cute as it used to be.

So, we have the Thumper and Bambi twitterpation, On the other hand “divine” love, as President Spencer W. Kimball called it, “is not like that association of the world which is misnamed love, but which is mostly physical attraction. … The love of which the Lord speaks is not only physical attraction, but also faith, confidence, understanding, and partnership. It is devotion and companionship, parenthood, common ideals and standards. It is cleanliness of life and sacrifice and unselfishness. This kind of love never tires nor wanes. It lives on through sickness and sorrow, through prosperity and privation, through accomplishment and disappointment, through time and eternity”